How to nurture a child's spirit | Seoulpapa
Even if parents give kids a better education and raise them with more care, why aren't our children happy? Why do they get hurt easily by others and can not stand it? Why can't they easily adapt to social life?
It is said that the current education of children is focusing to satisfy the children's 'desires', and the parents are removing the tension and slight discomfort that the child deserves, thereby depriving the child of the opportunity to grow into an independent adult. The deeper they step into a competitive society, the more the children who grow up in the greenhouse will inevitably lose their adaptability. It was found that children who were trained to stand up and endure failure from an early age not only had higher interpersonal and academic achievements compared to children who were not, but also had a higher level of adaptability to society and higher happiness index as adults. Children with high failure tolerance can easily understand the purpose of their studies and how to design life goals proactively. Therefore, it is important to start build spirit within a child as soon as possible. Below are 10 tips to raise children who can lead design and practice in study and life.
1. Teach kids that there are things they have to do, and there are things they have to put down even if they want or not.
Growing up is knowing that life is no longer like a fancy amusement park or a TV show. Kids need to know from very soon that, there are things in the world that they have to do even if they hate it, and there are things they have to endure even if they don't want, and that is the reality.
2. Give kids the opportunity to choose and take responsibility themselves.
In order to cherish and germinate the seeds of passion for a long time, children must choose what they want to do and fully experience the joy of that time. Parents should show kids respect to the experience or activity that kids chose, so that kids can be able to value themselves.
3. Let your kids suffer their mistakes.
The pain caused by a mistake is very important in learning what to do to avoid experiencing these feelings again. An appropriate level of emotional distress serves as a way to correct kids' behaviour in order not to go through the same thing. If you purchase an item from TV home shopping and are disappointed because the quality of the item is lower than expected, you might consider carefully about where to shop next time.
4. Teach them to value both their own feelings and the feelings of others.
Understanding other people's emotions is a mean that allows you to communicate with people. People communicate with each other to live, develop, and make each other happy. Communication continues by reading the other person's facial expressions, vocal tone, recognizing emotions by observing their actions, etc. People who excel at reading other people's emotions are highly adaptable and popular in the society.
5. Respect and follow parental authority.
Parents should set a basic rule and values to kids, therefore ultimately equip them with what it takes to be a part of society. Children can develop judgment, decision-making skills, and self-control skills while conforming to such parents. Kids who accept the authority of their parents tend to accept the authority of the teacher without difficulty, and concentrate well in class with a good attitude.
6. When giving kids freedom and autonomy, give the same amount of duties and responsibilities.
Autonomy can only be shown when the child is mature enough to live without dependence on anyone. However this must be taught in the first few years of kids. Freedom and choice without responsibility are often other names for recklessness or indulgence. The freedom and autonomous choice that a child or young person can have should be allowed within the scope of the responsibility they can take on their own.
7. Praise kids for what they're doing, not for good results.
The most helpful praise for a child is to praise the process. Compliments such as "You're smart" should be avoid. Instead parents should praise the process and effort kids have put in to achieve something, such as “You should have played, but instead you studied hard without even watching your favorite show”. When parents show interest in the process and acknowledge kids' efforts by mentioning in detail, kids can develop process-centered thinking from result-centered thinking.
8. Make them feel uncomfortable about their wrong behavior.
To change behavior, kids have to go through frustration and discomfort. They need to be offended by it, and then come to a resolution which can make sure something like this happen again. It's actually helpful to stop giving frivolous explanations and clearly state that these consequences are the result of these actions. If your kids have a habit of failing to finish your homework on time, they should either try not to go to bed until they finish homework or risk punishment at school the next day.
9. Do not become a child's head.
Kids need to know that they can only reach something by finding a way, comparing the methods they find, choosing the better one, and anticipating possible problems and conducting judgment and thinking activities to prepare in advance. If a child wants to live their life competently, they must be good at using their hands, feet, and head.
10. Teach your kids that the world has completely different rules
In school, first-class society starts at the bottom. From now on, children who have gone out into the world must work hard and achieve results on their own to create achievement status. The sooner kids understand this, the more self-valued they are.
Source: Kizmom